[generated output in 1 tries] THE CONVERSION written by larry david & jerry seinfeld was supposed to be off. the ticket's no good. he wouldn't put it in the explosion scene. so if everyone who has nodded off INT. MONK'S DINER - NIGHT IN MONKS WITH SHERRY GEORGE the sea was angry that day with the bike is yours! KRAMER hey, how about mexican? JERRY look, i'm sorry. i'm very, very much. KRAMER well, tell you kramer runs across a new coat, even though I asked because you called me up by association. besides, she's mad at me? INT. J. PETERMAN BUILDING - DAY the thirteen thousand. SALES WOMAN mr. pennypacker! GEORGE but mr. kruger. SALES WOMAN you don't get this ellen out of the desk. george and jerry are talking near the starting line, and most other surfaces are free of the worst thing that I got it! JERRY really? GEORGE so what do you know there is a little strange. george enters wearing a baseball player dammit. GEORGE and, um, it was funny. what is the jerry show. JERRY so listen, so we'll go GEORGE I am under direct orders from boutiques and department stores.. JERRY I think that's anything to uh, work for me and he hasn't called. GEORGE and the doorman's JERRY inside the subway car where jerry is standing by the couch, looking up movies for people now? bania and jenna. BANIA kramer, I - I was under the impression that he can get him a disdainful look, and turns off the floor. JENNA how you can give me your wallet. come on. bania and jenna. JERRY go in, go in! GEORGE narks? kramer wanders into the delivery room. KRAMER all right, let's go. the supervisor. you know the whole thing with you too soon. i'm planning a weekend routine...i'm on the hat! JERRY huh? GEORGE you shook my hand in a long term relationship. i've never smelled anything like it. JERRY hey. GEORGE okay, if I have a job, you got any matches? JERRY what are you doing with her? why? THEY TURN TO GEORGE, WHO'S GAPING AT SOMETHING. JERRY it has? i've been to a comedy pilot for NBC right now. MOTHER I told you to tell you something. what do you pay for me. ELAINE jerry, he's A GUY! SHE'S HITTING HER BOY ON THE DESK AND BEGINS TO EXIT. MOTHER I told her about that. GEORGE i'm family. i'm having a meeting at george's office. MOTHER don't you just GEORGE how you doing? KID you're ugly. GEORGE why d'you think he's upset? KID no, this is seinfeld's kid. GEORGE is that they tape this nature show for him, and the flared nostrils. KID you're ugly. GEORGE maybe I am. KID who's bozo? bozo the clown suit. THE END GEORGE I need this. I don't get KRAMER hey. GEORGE so I wound up meeting someone as a matter of principle. that would be interested in me. *you* did not. so as the rest of my life. JERRY what? GEORGE great! great! I am mad at the usual JERRY me? why me? GEORGE of course , I kept it. ELAINE I thought pitchers and catchers did have JERRY how was it? GEORGE no, that's too bad. JERRY all right, you remembered! GEORGE what did you have a cold. how'd you get those eyeglass JERRY I gave it to me. I can always kinda make those little bars of soap home? EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - DAY george flashes a panicked expression. GEORGE how did you leave it there? george and jerry dining at a restaurant where they don't put me down for some food. ELAINE obviously, mr. peterman, the fact that christie is looking confident, even smug. GEORGE oh, yes. hello. JERRY what if I wanted to know. LAMAR what was that? he took it into the elevator. JERRY please, please, isabel? she is going to do me a quarter. anybody want to sit in a sack, mister! george enters wearing a baseball player dammit. EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT A CAR SCREECHES AROUND A CURVE, ELAINE IS UNNERVED. OLDER MAN hey, aren't you supposed to give us a hand with the old ones come out with you. oh, and one of those close to the country. OLDER WOMAN father? ELAINE oh, we only wake you up for? elaine at mr. peterman's desk with a mr. giggio. KRAMER well, they say and he could be my first night out of proportion. JERRY so you know I will. KRAMER well, let's think. have you ever talk about it but if I was in the sofa, looking long-suffering. JERRY what? KRAMER yea, last night. kramer and newman are still accepting bids. KRAMER well, maybe she likes me. kramer and newman at the bodega today? some moron bounced a check at the festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and maybe some other items. jerry watches her go, frank. she's worked GEORGE my father JERRY oh hi. KRAMER well,, if you'll excuse me. I may jump ahead - you're going with. you're not getting thirty-five. BACK TO MONKS ELAINE oh, hi susan, george. you remember the, the little light on in five years ago. I never said milky white! HE SHOWS JERRY THE PAPER JERRY oh, no. i'd like to come, upstairs? KRAMER racquet. JERRY no. she carries entemanns doughnuts in your office first thing tomorrow. I made it up! KRAMER well, it couldn't be friends the only thing that needs checking. ELAINE that seems about right. GEORGE no, I don't mind at work here. KRAMER he was really fun. GEORGE and it's probably so the judge shlomo and slippery pete is playing chess again. SLIPPERY PETE mm-hmm. GEORGE come on SLIPPERY PETE that was all for.. GEORGE not that stupid. KRAMER well open the drawer, please! GEORGE oh, I was really nice hair. INT. ELAINE'S OFFICE - DAY - ESTABLISHING JERRY okay.. fifty-fourth and sixth? INT. BLEACHERS - DAY ELAINE well what about the pizza? INT. MONK'S RESTAURANT - DAY elaine gargles some water and drinks but manages to get back to the left, and she's the star of the market diner, an ELAINE yeah, I think you could check. she picks up a fur coat! hey, uh, give me that. EXT. KRUGER'S OFFICE BUILDING - DAY GEORGE oh. INT. BLEACHERS - DAY - ESTABLISHING george, shlomo, slippery pete, and shlomo sit at the laurel canyon. go on the label baby, baby. you know my friend, bob sacamano? GEORGE what? where are we? whales? EXT. CITY STREET - DAY - ESTABLISHING ELAINE just a *tiny* bit... it's not interesting writing. INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY elaine walks away with murder. you ELAINE boy, eh, can you guess what I was wondering how much I appreciate this. I got that right. gammy might be bobby dials 911. BOBBY well, you're going to be right. EXT. MONK'S DINER - DAY jerry and marcelino says he's the fish will be my new red JERRY hey, have you gotten all the way russell is. he doesn't like cashmere? find me so great. what happened? INTERCUT INT. TAXI CAB - DAY elaine taking his side? ALL aye. WALTER ssssss... everyone at NYU thinks i'm a jew. I finished converting two days from now we can get out of the delivery room. FEMALE WORKER it's not like he's my protégé. ELAINE hey! noreen! don't go out for unruly behavior. not five. doctor chernov is the momentous event? elaine and jerry laugh nervously. PREGNANT WOMAN oh, come on, you're good with the racquet. OLDER MAN hey, do you realize that they tape it in the morning! ELAINE no, i'm gonna pay a delivery guy enters with a hearty hail and well-met PRIEST no, I was the worst. ELAINE I know, I think I should do the cleaning. ELAINE milhouse. JERRY you sure you could. ELAINE OH, AH! OH! WOW! WHOA! A COMMIE! wow, gee, man it must be a lot like you. so what are you talking about? KRAMER ... my mother's life. ELAINE okay, fine, fine. when are you kidding me? KRAMER yeah. GEORGE hey uh let me ask you something. how long have you been up working all night but my friend jay reimenschneider eats horse all the pizza place idea! KRAMER hey jerry, listen to me. JERRY that old idea? KRAMER so go. JERRY wait, don't go. kramer:! come back. I got it! I did, i'm sure there's a new coat. CLUB ANNOUNCER ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the fins. you got to stop for ice cream on the top applause from off camera, then bania walks up as george looks round and reaches under his chin thoughtfully. BANIA did you find him? was obviously talking to one of these negotiations. JERRY what are we almost there? BANIA I think we have to pick up exterior of elaine's height. jerry nods, sagely, and picks up those which were on the street. her ELAINE yeah. it's a non-vite? again later, and it won't open. that stuff twenty four hours in front of the list. PUDDY sure thing, joe mayo. nice place. ELAINE wait a minute, but i'll tell you, you idiot. PUDDY I can live without ELAINE oh, I see...you're friends with marisa tomei. PUDDY and don't forget to take the one who cooks around here! ELAINE what's it? PUDDY so what do you have two friends, you were very good. ELAINE uh huh. uh huh. PUDDY nah. elaine gets in. he has and I cancelled plans to go backstage ELAINE no, no! CAB DRIVER no, you don't use my car that will separate. making that up that medicine ball. puddy runs away, leaving george's gatsby ambitions in tatters. ELAINE he called me shmoppy. you're a woman! vegetable stand. VEGETABLE LASAGNA oh god. ELAINE lloyd braun? what d'you think? right here. isn't this great? with those nerds in accounting moved, you and gina? VEGETABLE LASAGNA please don't think so. elaine and her have it! seated behind her. he's holding some brightly coloured objects in his coat, heading for the parade. PASSENGER 1 you're not really in the trunk? kramer's demolishing his food stocks. reading a paperback. NEWMAN nevertheless, sometime this afternoon, behind the counter. KRAMER oh, hey. kramer and the punches started flying -- who do you leave your father wears his sneakers in the worst part of the library. i'll bring back the way he talks. CINDY yeah. coco. that girl's all right. let's - let's go find GEORGE. JERRY yeah, I did. CINDY for my friend saw you. JERRY how's the fornicating gourmet? CINDY your nickname's koko? one of his boot. he struggles to lift a hundred miles down to miami beach and there was a spur of the fun of JERRY that's a good trip. CINDY I don't know. why? JERRY no. CINDY so? JERRY maybe because we have some friends are all wearing the dress -- kramer continues to listen. A tow truck has hauled the cadillac and a look at that price? POLICE OFFICER hey, lieutenant. JERRY what if I give you INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY george approaches jerry at post office JERRY sure, how much? from your native pakistan? as opposed to franks and beans. GEORGE you're going on here? JERRY george, you're not buying us a tape? GEORGE hey, where you goin', black saab? you seem like it huh. JERRY let us smell you? GEORGE they're worse! they're much worse than when your grandmother dies? but a piece of fruit but I was completely JERRY how do I do I get to a pen with all due respect, I find your belief system fascinating. kramer at a booth, huh? george's office GEORGE all right, gentlemen, I implore MR. ROSS what? GEORGE it's effeminate for a guy, huh? monk's. george and kramer in a tanning booth at the JERRY no. no more mentor? GEORGE but your cane's on the door to her. look at it. it's too far. I over seasoned it. men were keeling over all around the desk, including morty and sid, look on, concerned. ELAINE I don't know , you have to put my coffee table he notices a small ceremony. SHE GLARES mrs.sweedler GEORGE i'm just lying there and personally thank him. I studied his every move. for example, did you buy something. KRAMER oh, I turned my house at six-fifteen, when my parents in town. GEORGE regardless. I had the baby! oh, my shampoo. yeah, it was your fault! JERRY i'm NOT DRIVING HIM TO THE SCENE. JERRY OPENS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. KRAMER yeah, from what I could quit... JERRY i'd be happy to. so, all I have no closet sensitivity. KRAMER well my girlfriend had just about to commit to an hour. JERRY there is more about that cozy little space. CLUB ANNOUNCER ladies and gentlemen, kenny bania. bania walks out, jerry leaves, newman walks in. KRAMER y'did.........phfwelll. look.. hum..... can you blame her? there. NEWMAN there's another knock at the pledge drive. KRAMER well, i'm sure we're all very impressed. newman drops a coin already? jerry hears a loud KRAMER no, I don't know. JERRY ah. jerry wrests the keys doing in there? that really is a great idea. it would have to go to like him. and then it's gon and it's canceled. LAMAR jackass? so i'm JERRY thanks. as jerry goes to columbia grad school, and he's using it on video. onscreen, JERRY is it so well. ELAINE I told you, or anyone else for that soda. JERRY what the hell do you wanna step out of the reasons I wanted to talk to her seat. LAMAR you know, to see your friend john germaine's band there. KRAMER george, I gotta go. kramer enters. KRAMER alright, great, because I think i'm kidding, just try me. because I had to get an extra twenty-five dollars out of my building last night. i'd heard good kramer enters again. this time of year, there's GEORGE all right, let's change the title; the life force. I saw there wasn't going to take JERRY sammy davis had it. GEORGE oh please. george has a very ELAINE I should have his. GEORGE hm. thanks. ELAINE alison! hi, this is where you have your favourite candies that you don't think...? JERRY at this jerry, dropping paper on the corner, past the LAMAR you know, I was in a nice person. don't believe this. ELAINE I don't need karate, you can get out of the story. so, uh, gentlemen, do we need is the most boring movie if JERRY defent. GEORGE JERRY did I need somebody who didn't speak GEORGE oh, well, thank you. JERRY I was in a week? GEORGE see, how could you? JERRY you broke up? GEORGE george is pounding a ketchup bottle. the time. BOY hey pops, isn't there a box on the tube. when GEORGE hey...you don't think...sure, that's jon voight's pencil! the rest of my business. the executive was a friday afternoon. I wore that in the tip jar. I had to. BOY hey pops, isn't there like a chemical imbalance. he needs a little jealous now. okay let's go. GEORGE kissing is sex. the door to door. BOY thanks for nothing! come on, here hold this. GEORGE what about you? the whole thing about getting off the phone! JERRY he's... trying to get me to see a real problem. GEORGE this is an antique armoire. wow! it's french. armoire. JERRY no. assistance. GEORGE OK look , no shave. generation. JERRY first of the car getting totalled, the towing charge and the next move, what's gonna happen if GEORGE you have the same yellow overall as the state of affairs.. JERRY you're still master of his digit with a similarly visible jerry's penis. GEORGE oh, share. JERRY no thanks. GEORGE it's george:. JERRY I can't do that, it's a lesson in that. GEORGE kramer , what do you care? JERRY okay, so he knew o'brien he wouldn't accept it. GEORGE how ya doing?!? kramer lights a cigar store, without an indian? KRAMER jerry, listen, just so crazy about her! I love there is no way i'm taking him to pick her up there for dinner? the duck is outstanding here. PUERTO RICAN MAN buenos dias, my friend. KRAMER A mouse! kramer has closed his eyes off that infection. something CINDY hi, kramer. JERRY you? CINDY the girlfriend. JERRY me neither. I love your son could open that garage door. CINDY your nickname's koko? one of my house? JERRY hi. hi winona. nice to meet him back stage? as one of you.. CINDY yeah. don't ever come back to kramer at doctor's jerry and gets out a couple of total disregard. it's selfish. ELAINE by marriage. JERRY right upstairs. ELAINE it's a breeze. ELAINE but why? why not?! why won't this go back to him. he's been doing with you? ... NOW JERRY TAKES THE BABY INT OTHER ROOM. THE MOHEL STANDS IN THE THEATER ELAINE uh! I made the mannequin. you know, uh, she has delicate beauty. JERRY oh I can't. i'm busy. i'm going to town with susan KRAMER I can't stop thinking about this? ELAINE I do too. this jury exactly what they would do anyway but at ten cents a can, we're pulling in five flavors. KRAMER what's in the room nods. george and jerry. ELAINE what? you're cheryl fong? GEORGE I think i'm gonna be simmering with boils. ELAINE ed's downstairs. can I just had this little apartment? GEORGE the government is very obtrusive. GEORGE he can wipe out his wallet, peterman grabs the suitcase from by the way, who was the most distressing part of a friend. ELAINE whoa! whoa! JERRY you're going to make out my bladder system. GEORGE all right frank that's enough. JERRY because I don't think there's a ringing from the mailroom to the guy who runs the AMCA benefit. THEY START LAUGHING. GEORGE no. AMY we're going to be sequestered. ELAINE I wonder if any woman ever said that before? AMY look, I know you're not reading it now. GEORGE look at this. cable's out. JERRY why don't you think I knew I wanted to talk to me? kramer crouches as far as I see him tomorrow when you see in the air. KRAMER you got the jimmy the leader closes the door into the vast reservoir of cuban cigars? EXT. KRUGER'S OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT KRUGER actually, funny thing for him. INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING everyone is gay. KRUGER i'm not lucky, and I am different, yeah. MALE WORKER it's carrot. it's good to see her. GEORGE it's not true! KRUGER actually, funny thing is, even if he catches the coffee shop later that day. ALL hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! GEORGE my censor quit two years ago. THE END