[generated output in 1 tries]

THE FRIARS CLUB

written by

alec barely acknowledges the greeting and takes the

spike feresten, darin henry & mark jaffe

david mandel

INT. TAXI CAB - DAY

george and betsy at her own baby shower?! what are you full?

LADY 1 hey! there's a young woman has one last

LADY 2 oh, I turned him. he recycled this gift. he's

A car pulls away, leaving the car!

INT. J. PETERMAN'S OFFICE - DAY

the same.

LASER GUY the bug boy.

GEORGE and you give her the truth.

LASER GUY the membranes get dried and it was a weird guy, isn't he?

GEORGE hi amy, i'm george. and this is joel horneck.

INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY - ESTABLISHING

elaine has a couple of mcdonalds “golden arches” are visible.

MAN ooooooohhh..

EALINE mr. peterman, I, uh...

MAN !mira! !mira! stacy keach!

ELAINE you're eating your peas one at eight-thirty, which one of us, one big fling before george and I are kind of a ray of sunshine into her home.

MAN took a very good i'd like to talk to you. i'm sick of it. I took her to this sorted little affair.

ELAINE you wanna come with me.

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

INT. BLEACHERS - DAY

elaine and kramer sit in the movie!

ELAINE really?

she could have sex again. how's it coming?

OLDER MAN well, it was the worst.

ELAINE kramer?

elaine is

GEORGE she knows it was a mole on my show. plus my gig in miami got cancelled, we hadn't been alone in a moment. he runs back in a few days....her parents rebuilt the cabin!

JERRY ok, i'll go change.

assistance.

GEORGE the kind of you.

generation.

JERRY oh, you don't have a lot of people sit around the office, i'm right here.

GEORGE just the guy who opened the door so she tought I saw jane topless.

george thumps his knee on the floor! what are you cooking?

JERRY ah, I got really specific tastes.

GEORGE yeah. I see you here.

JERRY don't you give me something!

GEORGE nothing.

JERRY hi.

GEORGE yeah. never seen an appetite like this. I can't wear these!

JERRY extra teeth. I love it.

KRAMER the pig-man! I saw a mannequin that looked just like that.

JERRY you won't.

KRAMER A clark bar.

JERRY doesn't matter. it's moors - there's really nothing to do for me.

KRAMER you know, not doing that.

GEORGE oh, I can't find a mohel? whadya, get your picture, and you're lifting heavy suit cases.

KRAMER well, uh, are my nostrils getting bigger?

GEORGE well, I want to! i'm outta here. let me ask you a ride uptown.

JERRY hello there, how're you enjoying it, george? melts that tension away, doesn't it?

GEORGE all right. come on george, just because I thought I smelled something.

JERRY NBC! they wanna have sex again anyway.

GEORGE do you mean on the phone?

JERRY just put their cars in manhattan.

GEORGE moisturizer?

george runs away, leaving the premises without tote bags. I was just...

KRAMER wha two thousand? three thousand?

JERRY no, no. A better way to

KRAMER oh yeah, you're right.

EXT. J. PETERMAN why, indeed.

KRUGER t-bone!

INT. PARKING GARAGE - ONE HOUR LATER

everyone is gathered around a table we'd really appreciate

GEORGE jerry, come with me.

george is

GEORGE but i'm

JERRY well, just give my car *stinks* is what you got, a pair of bear claws, please.

GEORGE ... millions and millions ...

JERRY oh, well.

GEORGE I don't know.

JERRY so what?

GEORGE lesbian wedding. how do you

JERRY well, if you could be comfortable too, if I don't know how much I appreciate it.

GEORGE really, I just erase it. now the number of people think i'm going to get some perspective there.

JERRY blue escort? that's my whole life.

ELAINE fat.

JERRY that's, uh, fusilli jerry.

ELAINE oh, could you tell him you

VEGETABLE LASAGNA my name is keith. he comes to his sister. his sister? why I hate to say to anybody.

JERRY he's gone, now i'm responsible for this?

ELAINE kramer, this is george. george, this is a bris. we are headed to houston, where you make a photostat of the problem!

JERRY I don't have my list back, please?

jerry is on the horse? she wanted me to get all the way they kill them.

LISI hi, honey. is that so.

JERRY right now.

LISI 9:30.

they fall madly in love.

JERRY babu, you're pakistani?

LISI so, what are you paying attention?

JERRY I can't believe somebody threw this out?

LISI yeah.

JERRY hey, listen to him. he

LISI hi, honey. is that with the look on her

JERRY what! you're the best cook uncle sam ever saw, slinging

jerry comes aboard.

LISI uh-huh. uh-huh. what about your day. how was your *cousin*!

lisi is sitting down talking, george is getting some real writing. he's got a maid. she might really be worth something...

LISI boy, did he get those.

she has her head tilted

JERRY now, all you did.

LISI end under water?

JERRY what do you do or say, i'm a chiropractor.

LISI are you gonna bust up my time magazine... never miss my time magazine... never miss my apartment keys off the chocolate ones are good too. the idea is.

JERRY absolutely not.

LISI are you paying today?

JERRY didn't they ask is: who's responsible for those of us from business affairs.

LISI yeah.

JERRY my show at bally's, they want from you?

LISI I thought you were changing.

JERRY uh, wa?

jerry picks it up a jewel thief.

LAMAR jackass? so i'm curious. what'd you find it interesting

JERRY no, trini lopez.

LAMAR oh. sorry.

JERRY lomez is jewish?

kramer starts to laugh

KRAMER uh. jerry. these nosebleeds are starting again.

JERRY yes, I have forty pairs of

KRAMER well, this has all been one hell of a dumpster.

my stand that art should focus on the telephone.

JERRY come on up.

KRAMER all right, get out!

JERRY and in one of those big, y'know, old-

GEORGE really?

JERRY yeah, how about adult contemporary?

THEY IGNORE HER AND KEEPS WALKING.

GEORGE she seems very happy. she met you, everything got cleaned?

AMY I knew there had to work during the operation here?

GEORGE this is great. did you do?

AMY there's nothing to read?

ELAINE that's a weird school day, you contribute nothing to do sit-ups in the hong kong before it all over my nice

AMY look, I got enough problems. i'll just hold on!

GEORGE all right. as you are?

AMY it's really hot rooms and I have a paper towel.

GEORGE not that sensitive at all. she has her jacket in prison.

GEORGE obviously.

ELAINE jerry seinfeld.

GEORGE hey, there's a problem? you'd think you may be in the car. now, I know i've kiboshed before, and they don't have it in the house since I was wondering.

JERRY ..except that the space underneath a desk pushing papers

GEORGE I don't know , you have a wide variety of comestibles arranged on and as i'm concerned!

JERRY soon as this person can pay his rent!

kramer exits. george sniffs his armpit.

KRAMER no, it's not a baggy pants farce! this

JERRY hey, could we do here, at kruger and they're everywhere.

KRAMER hey! got the same symptoms.

jerry fetches a box of raisinettes? it's perverse.

JERRY audrey?

ELAINE I can't commit to an acute observer, that reflect me?

MAN what are you doing? what is going on here? is this test?

ELAINE what?

THEY REACT...

ELAINE uh! ah, is noreen there?

ELAINE yeah. it is. i'm virtually orthodox. all I know he was getting along so well for starters I want to spoil things by sleeping with peterman?

MAN shut up!

they enter jerry's apartment.

ELAINE where's my sweater?

PREGNANT WOMAN oh, jerry...

ELAINE who gendason?

POLICE OFFICER step out of your and i'll take it! ya gotta keep the big night on the contrary, they have quite a life I lead here, huh?

ELAINE hi, yea, i'm elaine benes, this is frank costanza.

POLICE OFFICER I got the guy who had the other day. he wants to see the dancing twosome, and the receptionist looks at the fortune cookie. you couldn't have..

ELAINE oh, I bought you the truth

POLICE RADIO attention all units, all units in the

they stop trying. why? why are you nervous?

INT. MEETING ROOM - DAY - ESTABLISHING

BUSINESS MAN but my hours here aren't very good.

ELAINE I will.

elaine folds her arms, unconvinced.

ELAINE so adam, I just liked the check at the taping...

CAB DRIVER i'm sorry to bother you, judge.

interior of a disheveled george at kramer's apartment

CAPTAIN hey, get out of the truck.

ELAINE oh george, oooh.

jerry's apartment.

KRAMER yeah.

JERRY wow. that's great! that's terrific!

GEORGE have you tried heat and wind.

JERRY you're the big rigs. I used to call the car *stinks*! george, does the move anymore.

GEORGE marla.

KRAMER the coffee shop. I mean, nothing is a non-verbal implication of doubt - he laughed so hard about that?

SLIPPERY PETE what's that?

KRAMER well, grab a bucket.

GEORGE but tell him his visa application.

JERRY there's a name yet?

GEORGE okay, if I can't stand around here

george opens the door, now. or, please select now.

GEORGE I am?

JERRY ..listen, I just didn't see anything.

GEORGE still a man who respects a good talk show hosts never seem to be hop sing's. I kind of.. uh..

george closes the door again.

table. as he makes a noise redolent of his way to the country.

GEORGE oh no, nothing. how could jerry not wear them.

way.

jerry gets up and listens.

newman reaches across to land in a long cruise, just the right decision.

NEWMAN he's shipping us a ticket?

george enters looking anxious, maybe borderline panicky. he stalks about as george speaks, russell crosses to the movies with ramon.

MR. STEINBRENNER wait a minute. how am I going to keep this up. make a copy of cry cry again, I can run

GEORGE well, I just...don't wanna get serious, perhaps you'd be embarrassed and humiliated when they have the name...

MR. STEINBRENNER woah. hello. sorry george, I, I, I need to talk. what is this? there's only one that writes upside down.

GEORGE aw c'mon, i'm eating here.

met, I never told her to get some hand that way.

the doctor gets the rest of the J. peterman catalog. it is babu's turn to him did you?

they look ridiculous! no offence to

GEORGE flowing?

JERRY except that it's sunday night, and everyone's just standing there,

phone rings, kramer answers the phone, walk away.

JERRY cause he's at that ring.

thank them..

GEORGE yeah, she's great.

JERRY I had him for calling back. no , never mind.

GEORGE he..he threatened me.

JERRY i'm paying.

KRAMER there's no doubt that the test?

JERRY well this is little jerry seinfeld - your day today? well, what do you see this? do you mean what if I don't know. she didn't touch it.

KRAMER c'mon it's movie time.

JERRY you're right.

KRAMER hey I get to the dog to the whole thing stinks.

BACK TO POLICE CAR COMES TO THE GROUND. THE MOHEL MASSAGES HIS

ELAINE this. my seat's got a back problem until that stupid idiot.

HE TRIES TO LOOK

JERRY do I get the hell is going on with this ring. i've been living in america too

KRAMER it's good suspension!

kramer throws a bag of oranges.

CINDY so?

JERRY no. but, I get myself in wood. it's gonna be.

CINDY yeah. don't ever do is go over there.

JERRY I once talked to tim whatley's party?

CINDY for my husband.

JERRY I don't

CINDY yeah. coco. that girl's all right.

JERRY there it will be brother

CINDY yeah. don't ever do the spokes model.

JERRY i'll loan you my address?

A car brakes behind george as she chats playfully with jerry.

POLICE kramer, let's go.

JERRY so?

INT. J. PETERMAN'S OFFICE - DAY

george enters and hangs up the blankets.

JERRY i've got to get the messages.

GEORGE ho ho ho ho. you know what?

kramer swerves onto the couch, but elaine intercepts him.

KRAMER yeah, frank costanza, who has nothing, somebody who didn't want to return this jacket.

GEORGE tell you jerry

KRAMER yeah, but it's something. ask the guy with the, with the milk. you got any hennigan's here?

GEORGE oh my god! I mean, we have sex.

JERRY course you do, but I don't care.

GEORGE hey, is that what you need help, jerry. you know we're friends. i'll pretend I have no problem picking one out.

JERRY no eight years old.

GEORGE das kaffes un salat e grand por favor.

JERRY I hope it's not a bad idea in the morning.

KRAMER he just left. we can write.

JERRY well it must take a second.

jerry looks out the window again.

LAMAR jackass!

JERRY define rarely.

george gets up from the office of mr.lippman, where elaine is sitting on a bench outside.

GEORGE so now, what's your name?

the moment I have. what am I made a mistake!

BOY gammy krantz, it's your money, it's fascinating.

GEORGE all right.

the door where she works, but I never forget.

JERRY did you hear about this game SIX. so, so what are you gonna see?

GEORGE I guess things changed for me ... nah ... I remember him. i'm not putting up

JERRY wow. so did you here this? some crazy notion. jerry, this is a dreadful, dreadful place.

GEORGE I have to go out with a cake walk.

ELAINE cookies?

JERRY what about this?

ELAINE what d'you think jerry? jerry?

ELAINE hey, so kramer's running for office?

PRIEST no, I don't know if I could give you a chair?

ELAINE hey, wake up.

PRIEST leave me! you must. but let me take your sweater.

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY - ESTABLISHING

jerry is speaking to the police station. one of the

JERRY what if I want to park her horse?

kramer opens the freezer compartment and the boss of him? what did you know? A brouhaha breaks out

KRAMER huh? well, it frees me up. if you will, would you like the funny thing is, i've been snapping at everybody.

JERRY I can't. see, I don't have it. can't stop thinking about this girl last week. are you gonna get?

ELAINE you know, george, just because a doggie bag for a couple of years. man, you do it tomorrow. well go with me mr. dalrimple. I am totally loving it. uh, you drugged a woman for year! i've always filled to at least through the door.

VEGETABLE LASAGNA oh god. why is it easy i'm sure they'll turn up

ELAINE well, guess what - is he allowed to have a talk and worked this out. don't ever change.

cab rides away.

THE END