[generated output in 1 tries] THE MAID written by gregg kavet & andy robin INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY elaine sits behind her desk, interviewing a smartly dressed morty. ELAINE so? what'd they say? elaine turns to look good for the juice box, mrs. Z. OLDER WOMAN wha--ow! ELAINE you want to get his picture taken. BUSINESS MAN but it's just awful. ELAINE i'm sorry jerry didn't suggest this sooner. EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - DAY GEORGE well, they're in... INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY GEORGE oh, no, nothing. ELAINE I wonder if i'm nuts about her. KRAMER i'll tell you and doing the screening here? JERRY how about dessert? KRAMER yeah! he has to be a problem saying no to. for some reason to buy a hot night. the mind races. you think you have a car to any EXT. MONK'S RESTAURANT - DAY GEORGE it's jerry's fault. INT. MOVIE LOBBY - DAY JERRY what? SECURITY GUARD JERRY ah, well. thank you very much. bye-bye. well, the mediocre ones are available, but they're so grateful that you're getting a lock smith, alright?! relax! SECURITY GUARD scuse me. what are you ready for is a good story otherwise it's just a coincidence obviously. JERRY you making coffee? SECURITY GUARD oh your folks have an important decision. why don't JERRY what's even more amazing is his formal training is in a booth. JERRY he can't kill me, right? SECURITY GUARD that's up to find a hotel and if you're a very ugly scene. JERRY well, generally speaking you don't let him get away after kramer. SECURITY GUARD spread your arms a little cream on the couch, with ken sitting on a horse? JERRY I only buy the first time poets, in a hospital. JERRY no what? SECURITY GUARD yeah. JERRY you can't take it off with the show about? JERRY I think chemical bank. just in the neighborhood. SECURITY GUARD oh, oh, okay. he's out. he got it. JERRY hey, I saw your boyfriend at a party. it became very clear about that. JERRY oh, no no I didn't catch his attention. SECURITY GUARD open the bag, and removes her coat. JERRY there's a *blurb* about me going to the waist, eating a bag of golf JERRY elaine, what was going to think that might have murdered susan? SECURITY GUARD what's this? JERRY oh, please... INT. TAXI CAB - CONTINUOUS jerry and elaine went to work the projector. JERRY I mean you show ELAINE why did you here what I saw. KRAMER you're making a lot for the finals. JERRY yes, he is going to paris. GEORGE wait, as a matter of fact. I almost passed the last time. JERRY i'm not going, i'm gonna be a small animal. KRAMER har-harwood, jerry. he has a gun concealed beneath his feet, which seems oddly out of the opponent, elaine, it's, uh, very intriguing. jerry bolts through the airport that run the catalog. KRAMER yeah, about ten, fifteen minutes. I guarantee she won't even go with me right in my pajamas with drool coming down to him, maybe i'll try some on the track, we're JERRY how did you ever seen one? KRAMER alright, alright. just let me give you five bucks. JERRY yeah. KRAMER do you get? ELAINE perhaps there's more to go. KRAMER understand? JERRY sounds like a science fiction story. KRAMER oh yeah, be great if you did, you insisted. JERRY you're not around? KRAMER why are you kidding? they were around the apartment, and then stop to talk, and I can wear it. nobody's taking my coat. JERRY you didn't start backing in until he left. KRAMER well, i'm sorry. JERRY when did you do? KRAMER ah no no, they weren't moving much. but sometimes people won't go away! look I don't want to! JERRY yeah! KRAMER he can't hear us. JERRY it's all silk. KRAMER what's in the air is a barometer exactly? JERRY it was you. you're jerry's friend, KRAMER he is carrying a small men's carryall. JERRY oh, you going to be a night I found the place, I set the whole history, but it slips my mind is as barren as the date? timeslot. CLUB ANNOUNCER ladies and gentlemen, last year, he's got all my experiences! jerry walks through the kiss, and JERRY other drivers? jerry has to rush out. jerry tries to follow, but an 85? jerry and elaine are sitting in a restaurant. seinfeld told me that a pie stand back there? jerry by the way, did you say?! jerry and elaine in the modern era. jerry opens the door, steve answers. JERRY I don't understand. this organ, it's very... schizophrenic. SALES WOMAN yes! come in, welcome. i'm george. JERRY not good? SALES WOMAN would you be specific about any of these when I feel cheap and violated. JERRY what do you have any teeth if it doesn't look like he's an attractive man, I , give you $50. now, be SALES WOMAN mr. pennypacker! JERRY I don't focus on these things. SALES WOMAN just down the road, and chews his face was covered in oregano and parmesan, and it's non-fat! JERRY cool guy? what INT. PARKING GARAGE - GEORGE, KRAMER, AND ELAINE. mr. peterman gets up from his bedroom twiddling scissors. ELAINE oh, leslie, I am such a thing for jerry that you may or may not say anything, or i'll tell. PETERMAN that inferno rattling sound that has been solved. EALINE hello? PETERMAN elaine, according to his face? ELAINE do I stink? PETERMAN for the back. i'll be honest sir -- my, my new place. it'll take you out. you want me to come over to elaine. all elaine can be seen peering in through the door inwards. EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY jerry opens a cupboard. his eyes off the wall. MAN will you just JERRY trip to berlin? MAN #2 some little problems could arise. JERRY come on. MAN NO.1 ah, whaddya say we call a lie detector test. JERRY why? is there anything there to heckle her for? MAN you thought?! we're gonna clean up! JERRY so, you gonna move the car? MAN took a very noirish look to the health club? salman rushdie. JERRY I was buying her ticket from the hoffer-mandale clinic in england. MAN 2 never seen squeeze ketchup. JERRY no you can't, and i'm the only one MAN what guy? KRAMER yeah, hi elaine. george is looking him up thursday in latham, massachusetts, covering this trial could last for years and years. it's not here right now. bumps a paint can which knocks over clete boyer. store. MAN #2 he got fired because his friend was supposed to start seeing someone else, he said it went away. george gets up from behind. MAN #1 _the new york again, you are doing business with you in the club. WOMAN they're quite skilled at conversation. they can do. it's a barbaric ritual. jerry dropping off a writing pad, and presents it to the edge of my mind. sweat. kramer and jerry are back together. BANIA you promised you're gonna leave it there? KRAMER so...you're all in on this...barbara ,jane , mike can be seen outside. JERRY aren't you the nice face discount. KRAMER no, don't, don't make me drive all the stupid bob grossberg. jerry steps to the soup nazi. JERRY i'm afraid i'm just saying... NEWMAN damn! JERRY oh my god! how are they coming tonight or he has got all day tomorrow? we had a wife, kids, and a make out. NEWMAN uh-huh. JERRY well, if the homeless guy pushes his way past kramer and slaps you in on that? NEWMAN well, you were still under the icepack and falls to the stadium, you know? JERRY and instead of a job. what are you a short guy with the son, and now he's a cube.. anyway, he asked me to. NEWMAN i'll handle this, violet. why don't these people listen to this; her uncle would get back on schedule. JERRY you mean what am I gonna make december. right? I mean, of course I deserve it. NEWMAN your honor, the prosecution ready to go and price fur coats. JERRY so this is your coat. MAN no. it's not poverotti.. it's not real. they're all very impressed. JERRY it does not like I said I was just down the carriage picks the weights and lifts them chest high. MAN we're with him. JERRY why must I be uncomfortable just because of the MAN #1 hey, what's this? JERRY nah, i'll go to sleep in MAN there. JERRY so what? what sweater? MAN #1 hey, where's kramer? JERRY how do I detect a portuguese accent? MAN watch your step. JERRY kramer, you make a bundle. MAN aw, drop dead! JERRY what made him sniff! I told you. here, think you need new sneakers for? MAN hey, this clark bar is right into kramer's apartment JERRY wow. you really should. MAN #1 vern, page, preston, don't you play JERRY you were so, so what are we going? MAN hey you, hey you. INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY JERRY oh, no no no, this is herb SECURITY GUARD STARING AT HIM WITH HIS KEYS. JERRY yeah, i'm the last handful of trash into a ditch and managed to hitch yet another guy enters behind her. JERRY but if you want to go through GEORGE you got in a few hours tomorrow afternoon? george looks like tonight I will never possess. EXT. BLEACHERS - DAY 1 KRAMER come on, jerry:. please, please, please! I took her home one night - we have here? perhaps miss benes , are you free friday night? INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT kramer enters and shuts the door is pushed open from the RADIO swung on, line hard toward left center field. that's in the air; and then you don't get that bike off JERRY well, something happens. INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING jerry and valerie patched JERRY why didn't you just ask her out. he saying? JERRY she's subletting carol's place for an office if you ever seen her naked every week, except me. needless to say, STAN? LAMAR oh. sorry. KRAMER george, I want the man was out of the movie at gun point! kramer is about to introduce you to decide? INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT the phone rings and jerry ride down. SALES WOMAN you know what she told met hat...she was the one that needs checking. GEORGE out? oh no, no, I fled the scene. SALES WOMAN it has a george flashes kramer an aggrieved look. there is a reach. JERRY no, no, I think play now is *beep*, *beep*, GEORGE see? JERRY well, if it were socially acceptable-- GEORGE she's an.. entymologist - you dive into a store, I wouldn't want to trade your hair there. JERRY he has nothing to me. oh! she made a long story. george. george watches her as she goes, she notices JERRY okay. tonight. GEORGE I told you to JERRY tony, y-you better bring a poncho. GEORGE A ha! we're just waiting for his book concept. george is further discomfited by the GEORGE yes. and the front of my house!!. JERRY I think i'm crazy, but i'm backing in! you can't take this. this woman GEORGE should I call an ambulance? INT. SECURITY OFFICE - DAY george storms out of jerry's apartment. meryl comes out and ptruut went to pick her up? GEORGE K-I-M-B-R-O-U-G-H JERRY very strange. GEORGE yeah, that's right. JERRY you mean pandora. KRAMER hey. ELAINE well, mister peterman, why don't you have to take too long. i'd GEORGE as you know, if your future was a woman sleeping in a janitor's JERRY what about a rocking chair? GEORGE what do you know I can't do that. the phone. LADY due to a LADY that's right. EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT kramer reaches for a maximum fine of $85,000 and as my doctor, he can't hear you, you made what? KRAMER aw, you really shouldn't brush 24 hours get everything checked out by a dog! you go in the back of the socket! kramer disappears into the KRAMER well it's 555-3455. jerry and elaine are in elaine's purse. JERRY yes, a bubble! ELAINE you're father was a mess. I never told jerry hot and heavy. I uh, lost my balance. JERRY all right. let's do it. it's in sports. ELAINE well, have you checked in the JERRY hey, did you have to do with the other. KRAMER i'm distraught!?! wooh-wooh-hoo! JERRY where you just commit yourself already? ELAINE see, now newman is seated beside a car-shaped object hidden under a pile of dirty towels and JERRY hey, have you ever witness one of her fork ELAINE these people interested in your laundry in on it! JERRY what's to discuss? ELAINE ah, god, I think that's coming on a plane crash? ... JERRY boys, boys. EALINE hello? JERRY what about this-- GEORGE she's bald. JERRY that's usually the best. you know something? I no like the end of one normal man. bania walks out, leaving a not entirely unhappy elaine behind. BANIA hey jerry, you came by the can's JENNA there. now come on up. BANIA can we go for the invite. JENNA hope you rot in that coffee BANIA some woman named uma. I got stuck in the first name. JENNA don't worry, he's comfortable. bania and jenna. JERRY I - I have to keep my skin moist so I need food, jerry. I had fun, where's the waiter. dad, what are you going? GEORGE this is an art-house goon. I stick with him. i'd like to play up that medicine ball. JERRY yeah, well, he's kind GEORGE I am like a KRAMER i'll tell ya now , he's wearing on his ninth date with her. JERRY oh yeah. yeah, he's in some sort under garment between his skin and bones. RADIO hey, and by the end lloyd braun doing here? JERRY you want to meet him at the jiffy park.... you know I cannot recall. anyway I was flirting with operators on LAMAR where you goin'? JERRY they're not mocked and humiliated when they gave me. LAMAR oh. sorry. ELAINE yeah. JERRY would you stop? ELAINE you can't stretch out and rinsing like there was a, uh, washcloth. VEGETABLE LASAGNA oh god. ELAINE well, listen, I uh, I need to see this. the hangers, the bar, the shelves. and in cab rides away. THE END