[generated output in 1 tries] THE MOHEL MASSAGES HIS written by alec berg & jeff schaffer & david mandel david mandel INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT the road. ELAINE well, what is this, huh? she had to have the same outfit. OLDER MAN is the perfect combination of mountain dew and mozzarella...just the right here. ELAINE yeah! PRIEST I heard that! EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT jerry and elaine away JERRY all right. i'll tell you something else, i'm not putting it in korea? PUERTO RICAN MAN well, it seems that a communistpipeline into the distance, oblivious to the ground in pain. JERRY yeah, this is fantastic.. INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING elaine and fred are having dinner. MAN NO.3 how'd you know what I ask you something. if you don't have boxes. dammit, I can ever put a six hundred million you don't throw EALINE um, excuse me, anyway we were just talking to elaine and her feet stamp on the door. MAN i'd like to buy the ticket holders if the marriage works. that's what's important. ELAINE hey, what are you doing, lloyd? I hear you're a little off the loading zone. MAN 1 try looking up hayseed. elaine slams the door on george, finish the story. MAN hey, aren't you coming across ninety-five cents? ELAINE there are still eating on the pay phone over there. you just want you to sign a prenuptual agreement. MAN that's what I was once like you; wide-eyed, naive, I elaine puts he hand to her watch. MAN ugh.. ray. EALINE hello? MAN now I want everyone out! ELAINE oh. EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY 2 george and cheryl laugh, george, unamused, tries pushing jerry and raises his eyes. he's pure evil. GEORGE you can't be done. george is INT. J. PETERMAN'S OFFICE - DAY elaine walks over to elaine, kramer and babs ELAINE well... the sombrero wearer waves away the squeezy option and shuts the door open for? INT. ESCALATOR - GOING DOWN TO A ROOM vote for kramer. CAB DRIVER where to? ELAINE I thought I was wondering. what if I did this opposite thing last night. she breaks up and then split. EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY she leaves. ELAINE I got one at a restaurant. you've got dogs? PHONE MAN all right, but you gotta support the team. ELAINE all right, if you had a british accent though. what, what happened? PHONE if you'd like that. EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS JERRY i'm jerry seinfeld, the agency sent me. INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY - ESTABLISHING george and nina GEORGE i'm gonna JERRY hello, poppie. this is a front office. wilhelm, I think you'd GEORGE when did you get? JERRY jimmy's gonna put my trust into the back of a booth, facing jerry. george sits on estelle's GEORGE really. JERRY why? GEORGE alright, let's go. bye george. JERRY no, never. GEORGE I can't believe, you're going to have for three days, the post office. he's working on his desk. after she met you, everything got puddy and the PUDDY how ya feeling? is anybody getting your father wouldn't say so but he's not. he's very interesting. ELAINE there was nothing he could be tried for murder... PUDDY well, i'm out there, this is like the storm-troopers into poland. elaine well I had to be very refreshing. ELAINE you're going with. you're not going to be. JERRY catnap? ELAINE it's true. i'm george! JERRY alright, i'll see ya. ELAINE he's not wondering the same outfit you were going so well. KRAMER I bet. INT. MOVIE LOBBY - DAY GEORGE I dunno they said tomorrow, maybe. SECURITY GUARD come on, come on. GEORGE oh, art! INT. PARKING GARAGE george, susan and I have two friends, you were going out with charles atlas in the one who talked into your building? GEORGE oh, right. you made him wear when he has ever done in time? EXT. MONK'S DINER - NIGHT ELAINE andre? INT. TAXI CAB - CONTINUOUS JERRY they'll give us the next day at the end of the phone. SECURITY GUARD empty your pockets please. JERRY all right, so it's straight. SECURITY GUARD your wife? JERRY I strained my neck is still trying to show it to me george, you got a really funny out there. SECURITY GUARD your wife? JERRY you know that? SECURITY GUARD well who doesn't. JERRY what arrangement? SECURITY GUARD what do you mind? JERRY never. JERRY so this is bogus, man! SECURITY GUARD yeah. JERRY george is taking a ride. SECURITY GUARD that's up to leave myself plenty of ideas. INT. ELAINE'S APARTMENT - DAY KRAMER and then decided to stop at the gate? GEORGE canceled? do I detect a portuguese waitress. mathematically, I had a pair of rainbow colored suspenders. SHLOMO they put them next to that guy got fired from a matchbook? GEORGE all right. let's get started. KRAMER uh, yeah. uh, christie? GEORGE it's the top off of this relationship. it could be you. shlomo and slippery pete go to sleep at nine o clock. SLIPPERY PETE the batteries are fine. we've got...oh, god. only 3 minutes left. GEORGE what are the people who give insincere thank you's. no SLIPPERY PETE so do you speak burmese? GEORGE yeah, yeah, right. SLIPPERY PETE so do you like that? KRAMER yeah, now and then the ball and raises his head as I walk you back here in queens because you made what? SLIPPERY PETE what's that? KRAMER they're geoffrey haarwood's. GEORGE one of the JERRY you're lucky enough to see him. george looks at the pound. so ... GEORGE ask about him these days. what a spanking button. DELIVERY GUY delivery. elaine benes? the chest of drawers still stands against one wall of the things I do with you. GEORGE the song? JERRY thanks, julio. GEORGE alright, alright, i'll cash the checks. dozens hang from lines around the dial? the last bobka. JERRY is she wearing the GEORGE I don't know. KRAMER oh no, not really. GEORGE well I thought george was next to it. KRAMER well, you JERRY well, we've narrowed it down your throat? KRAMER drive the big piece. i'll see you-- GEORGE ahhh, hey-ho. JERRY well-- GEORGE this line is huge. JERRY just once I could see it. ELAINE there's this annoying little overachievers.. finally, this kid to paris? JERRY what's the matter? ELAINE well, uh, my speech? JERRY oh. let me help you with that? I mean LAMAR where you were, you were some crazy notion. jerry, this is blood isn't it?! KRAMER come on up. okay, they're here. JERRY nana called me shmoppy. you're a baby! KRAMER no way I figure they're bored. BACK TO GEORGE mm-hmm. ELAINE brett said you wanted to settle. HE EXITS. JERRY expect a woman like this one time -- knocked me right KRAMER yeah, but you knew he had to use the urinal, without reaction. JERRY what is the best. KRAMER IS BEEN INTERROGATED BY LT. MARTEL you heard anything like this one. JERRY you know jerry? GEORGE really? that's pretty rare! I mean, don't be so touchy. puddy has his attention drawn away from personal ads! PUDDY not having a good start. ELAINE ohhhh.. and another one when I was thinking we should have PUDDY well, alright, so what should I be? ELAINE ohh! oh, the hell out of my PUDDY ok. ELAINE how can I borrow your scarf. CAB DRIVER where to? making everybody share. puddy entering monk's in a chinese delivery boy is ELAINE I don't think more flan is the hardest things i've ever seen. vegetable lasagna enters the store I told them that way. VEGETABLE LASAGNA I don't trust men in wool pants running through the detector. ELAINE I can't believe at the counter by the way, thanks a lot. I hope you saved my life, in the bathroom. JERRY what? ELAINE well... elaine gets up cautiously and walks off toward his own hours. PREGNANT WOMAN i'm not an easy return straight into gridlock. oh, those fools. OLDER MAN hey, this is elaine.. ELAINE well that's why I didn't know that in OLDER MAN oh, excuse me.. mister benes? PRIEST father hernandez? PREGNANT WOMAN oh, I really did a full hour about how funny is funny, we're here in new york. people start going under the hood. ELAINE well I got a pair of bear claws, please. BUSINESS MAN you shot death blow? ELAINE oh, no no no. go to california, are you? EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING INT. SECURITY OFFICE - DAY - ESTABLSIHING elaine turns to see me they're going to believe what i'm gonna go down to tony and get out. they can't cancel that show was cancelled. there was not more building. ELAINE I don't want it! JERRY new hairdo? ELAINE yeah, nice to get the hell is that? KRAMER I know. he said that the seinfelds enter scott's, and jack sit beside each ELAINE well, I was at that place by the way, have you had these wooden teeth... kramer strolls over to a hospital, KRAMER hey, do you like the first place. I don't really know anyone. JERRY oh. KRAMER listen, i'm going for one day. the next wave. JERRY yeah. KRAMER hey i'm on the street, wearing one of those guys who own the magic pan to roll the jerry and kramer leap in the first game. KRAMER well its, uh, well she, she wants to be two pretty wonderful people. JERRY ....i'm getting a place where you step. there's quite a character. kramer.. KRAMER yeah, that def jam is a total loss. kramer holds the door open? INT. ELAINE'S OFFICE/JERRY'S APARTMENT there's a street at night JERRY when you see george continuing to admire himself as, off-camera, gary and jerry enter a store stocked with the copier? LISI well, I guess that's because I know what it was. I could still make the lips fuller. poutier. JERRY elaine, what's the difference? LISI are you feeling weird? they are not a fan of mine thought she was just messing with my parents. JERRY I told you this gift. he's LISI I thought I was just trying to avoid going back in on this...barbara ,jane , mike can be heard. as she speaks to JERRY what happened? LISI ha ha. now for the JERRY his father.. jerry and george stand. george is LISI uh-huh. uh-huh. mm-hmm. uh-huh... lisi is crying while lifting weights. photos of elaine tickling mr LISI 84th street, right off riverside park. JERRY oh, that ending was *so* obvious. I would have been here tonight. some guy LISI end under water? lisi leaves. LISI 84th street, right off riverside park. JERRY it is clear that jerry squirted at me. LISI look what I JERRY she's got a car! lisi is on uhm, mount GEORGE ya gotta put JERRY i'm sorry, this is magnifico! KRAMER oh, ELAINE daddy certainly does have an english garden in there. where's mine? JERRY told you. ELAINE wow. wow. you see? JERRY oh... all right... ELAINE well, I might remind you of? JERRY elaine, that's the last time I talk to me for so long. elaine enters. INTERCUT JERRY'S GIRLFRIEND I just came from? JERRY come on. COMPUTER VOICE you mean just walk away, kramer. I beg to differ. my father KRAMER I think almost all of it, huh. JERRY so you ask me medical questions all the ... ELAINE all right! yeah.. courtside.. whoa! don't let him have it. JERRY hey alec kramer opens the door. KRAMER it's a real tiger. JERRY oh right, right! the blue sweatpants! yeah, I guess. ELAINE wanna sit down? you're disturbing everybody. sit down! KRAMER uh, borrow. it's for my dry cleaner. GEORGE I just found a relative. ELAINE it looks good. GEORGE hello. JERRY what's with the shmoopy? ELAINE JERRY yeah, and we can get me a favor. it's less money for him too, but he'll get another job. he's got equipment over there. ELAINE ya know, its not easy. it's a very interesting evening. JERRY you think she was very comfortable. jerry manages to regain a normal complaint. KRAMER no! i'm not having children. JERRY new shirt? KRAMER what? two animal acts on the counter gladys is behind the counter. JERRY the question is, if you could give me the seats. you said that you said no! KRAMER oh, hey, hey, what happened ? JERRY not to mention your name. GEORGE hurry up. get ready. i'll see you later. JERRY so, it's a natural. this is fabulous. my god is the most important part of the toes, but sometimes people fall out of GEORGE nobody tucks anymore. JERRY I gotta go. kramer and jerry dated for a position of advantage. huh? there was a big screen. they came out of time. KRAMER well, I, uh, GEORGE alright, how's this? we wait till that uma smells this uva. KRAMER so I slugged him. SLIPPERY PETE well, I don't like the show. KRAMER nah, i'm sorry, all right. as you get. imagine bumping into people. GEORGE aw c'mon. JERRY my father and you met her *one* time... country right next to his staffers. GEORGE yeah, well.... JERRY i'm not as hygienic as they are the people who're civil to each other in excited japanese. GEORGE yes. please. please, let's go. JERRY oh, god, dave! oh, yes! yes! everybody has their tonsils. in fact, he moved to a garbage dump carrying a file. she overhears. LAMAR where you goin', black saab? you seem like such a good thing they do the little man. JERRY I accept. george runs off into the pro shop, carrying KRAMER I got her STOCK FOOTAGE taxis stuck in a time slot hit. INT. PARKING GARAGE elaine walks to the samuel beckett theatre ELAINE what? PHONE TAPE jerry, this is all about. EXT. CITY SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS JERRY then can I go? no way represents our ability to take a while though. INT. JERRY'S CAR - DAY 1 mr. peterman, you can't put my life's stories in his dressing room area. ELAINE ohh! PETERMAN i'm afraid of clowns! THE STALL